Movie Review: Fast Five

Title: Fast Five

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: November 30, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 114 minutes

Box Office Gross: $626,100,100

Site Rating: 3 out of 10 stars

"Fast Five" is the fifth installment in "Fast And The Furious" film series. This action packed sequel starred Vin Diesel and Paul Walker and takes place in Rio De Janeiro, Brasil. "Fast Five" is reminiscent of "Ocean’s Eleven" as it is about a group of criminals planning a heist. Only this film is about robbing a drug dealer, which is, how do I put it, dumb and dangerous...

For this rest of this movie review please click here

Movie Review: Thor

Title: Thor

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: November 30, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 114 minutes

Box Office Gross: $448,500,000

Site Rating: 2 out of 10 stars

"Thor" is the 2011 film adaptation of the Marvel comic book of the same name. It stars the rugged Australian actor, Chris Hemsworth, as the superhero "Thor." His arrogance and entitlement issues lead his dad to throw him out of their country, Asgard, where he is tossed to earth like a salad. On earth Thor has to prove himself to a number of people, but most of all his dad.

For the rest of this movie review please click here

Movie Review: Green Latern

Title: Green Lantern

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: November 30, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 114 minutes

Box Office Gross: $219,851,172

Site Rating: 3 out of 10 stars

"Green Lantern" is one of the superhero movies launched this year, based on the Marvel comic book of the same name. Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds, who was clearly hired as eye candy, stars as the Green Lantern, who is an aviator struggling with memories of his deceased dad.

He is chosen as a superhero by a wait for it..."Green Lantern" from another planet that is really fond of the color green. "Gossip Girl" television actress Blake Lively, hired as additional eye candy, stars as the Lantern’s love interest and co-worker that the bad guys go after.

First off, I saw so much green in this move, I started getting tired of the color. Everywhere you look green…green…green. We get the point. It’s GREEN Latern. The special EFX were better than average though, but it made the movie a little too slick.

When I saw this scene, especially the forehead, I thought "Oh, I didn't know Rihanna was in this film" (LOL)

For the rest of this movie review please click here

Movie Review: The Green Hornet

Title: The Green Hornet

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: October 31, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 108 minutes

Box Office Gross: $227,817, 248

Site Rating: 1 out of 10 stars

Family Warning: contains a lot of unnecessary violence and bad language

"Green Hornet" is possibly one of the worst superhero movies ever. An expensive mess. Drivel that just goes on and on. A complete waste of a big budget. It is one of the most tedious films I have ever watched. I kept falling asleep during the movie, then waking back up and having to rewind it to the last part of the movie I remember seeing and no not because of my allergy medicine (I didn't take any that day) but because the film was boring and nonsensical. Yes, it was that weird.

The movie is about a lazy young man, Britt Reid, who inherits his dad's fortune and decides to become a superhero. Hardly original. Seth Rogen was the weakest link in this film. What should have been a good action role, was turned into unfunny jokes, gross out moments and irritating ideas that did not pan out, pardon the pun. Rogen's character was irritating like the lead in Arthur, but less likable.

Jay Chou was good as his sidekick and butler, Kato, adding some texture to the film, with a sensible character, but it was not enough to make this movie work. This is how Hollywood sucks people in. You think "A superhero movie, oh cool!" then you watch it and it's like, "Oh no! I want the past two hours of my life back!"

http://www.celluloidfilmreview.com/green_hornet.htm

Movie Review: Across the Line: The Exodus of Charlie Wright

Title: Across the Line: The Exodus of Charlie Wright

Year Of Release: 2010

Review Date: October 31, 2011

Rating: R

Running time: 110 minutes

Box Office Gross: $227,817, 248

Site Rating: 3 out of 10 stars

Family Warning: contains violence and bad language

A ponzi schemer named Charlie Wright flees to Mexico (why didn't Madoff think of that) with billions of dollars in clients' money (Madoff didn't think of that either) to hide from the law in America, regarding his dirty financial dealings. He goes on a wild goose chase in Tijuana along the way, with the authorities following him seeking to make an arrest.

Wright is an obsessive man, who looks like an alcoholic (hey, who better to manage your money than a drunk, after all, what could go wrong). While the cast of this film was strong, this movie was too dark and sad to be enjoyable, with a resolution that doesn't exactly scream justice. I am not a fan of such films.

http://www.celluloidfilmreview.com

Celluloid Film Review: The Lincoln Lawyer

Title: The Lincoln Lawyer

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: September 30, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 119 minutes

Box Office Gross: $85,507,593

Site Rating: 5 out of 10 stars

Family Warning: contains some sexual content, violence and bad language

"The Lincoln Lawyer" stars the handsome and charming, Matthew McConaughey, as a tough criminal defense attorney. At first, I thought the film was set in the U.S. city of Lincoln, Nebraska, due to the title, but it was not so.

The film apparently got its name from the main character, attorney, Mickey Haller, being driven around all day, by a round the way tough guy in a Lincoln car. The Lincoln serves as his office, as he has no fixed business address, well, other than his secondary one, a home office (my favorite kind).

Haller is sought out by a seemingly normal client, who claims he has been wrongly accused of a terrible murder, but as the film progresses, it is revealed, he is as a phrase I read recently, "Nuttier than squirrel doodoo." The film has many twists that are somewhat surprising.

http://www.celluloidfilmreview.com/the_lincoln_lawyer.htm

Celluloid Film Review: Arthur

Title: Arthur

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: September 30, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 110 minutes

Box Office Gross: $65,339,543

Site Rating: 2 out of 10 stars

Family Warning: contains some sexual content and bad language

"Arthur" the remake of the 1981 film of the same name, did not live up to its predecessor, regarding the promiscuous Brit living in New York. The reboot, which stars British comedic actor, Russell Brand, in the role, did not quite do the late Dudley Moore justice. Most filmgoers probably did not look past the surface of this film's trailer, to buy a ticket to see it, as the movie so paled in comparison to what came before it, the deterioration in quality was immediately apparent.

The film did have a few funny moments, but it took way too long for them to arrive. Some jokes did fall somewhat flat, while ironically characterizing the Obama Administration's view on economics. When officials inform Arthur he is living a lavish and meaningless life, by stating, "How do you explain this frivolous spending during a recession" - he simply goes to an ATM, obtains funds from his family's account and spontaneously begins throwing it all over a room full of people while proclaiming, "Free money, recession's over, we're in a boom." The Obama school of economics, indeed.

Speaking of Obama, Hollywood has been name dropping him in their movies, as a means of promoting him. This is being done in bids at propping him up, after their insane agenda, bad advice and constant presence at the White House, firmly planted the first African-American presidency in trouble (see polls). When Arthur is confronted by his mother about his debauched lifestyle and her desire for him to marry a domineering woman he does not love, she admonishes him by stating, "As the charming coffee colored gentleman (Obama) that runs this country said, 'It is time to put aside childish things.'" Actually, that phrase came from the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:11). Leave it to Hollywood to compliment and insult in the same sentence, where no matter what they tell you, race is a factor.

http://www.celluloidfilmreview.com/arthur.htm

Celluloid Film Review: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Title: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Year Of Release: 2009

Review Date: September 30, 2011

Rating: PG

Running time: 87 minutes

Box Office Gross: $46,471,023

Site Rating: 1 out of 10 stars

"The Fantastic Mr. Fox" starring George Clooney, is possibly one of the most boring animated films I have ever seen. I couldn't wait for it to finish. "Mr. Fox" is the story of a thieving fox that steals food from farmers (right up Hollywood's alley). When the farmers figure out what is transpiring and try to kill Fox and his cohorts, they flee underground. Much more could have been done with this film that was adapted from a children's novel, as the movie was dull and the animation chintzy.

http://www.celluloidfilmreview.com/the_fantastic_mr_fox.htm

Movie Review: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Title: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: August 31, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 93 minutes

Box Office Gross: $306,901,839

Site Rating: 2 out of 10 stars

"Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes" is the action sequel to 2001's "Planet Of The Apes." The film stars, James Franco, as a scientist seeking to cure Alzheimer's by experimenting on apes. How original (sarcasm). One of the apes in the study, Caesar, ingests the drug via his mother and becomes more intelligent. Due to his increased intelligence, Caesar becomes aware of the plight of apes kept in captivity and leads a rebellion.

The plot to this film took too many twists and turns and became downright creepy at times. It also has underlying themes regarding prevalent ideas about HIV and AIDS, strewn throughout the film, though the subject matter has to do with Alzheimer's.

Movie Review: The Adjustment Bureau

Title: The Adjustment Bureau

Year Of Release: 2011

Review Date: August 31, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 106 minutes

Box Office Gross: $127,104,813

Site Rating: 0 out of 10 stars

"The Adjustment Bureau" stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, as two people that keep running into each other, but a sinister "bureau" tries to keep them apart. Damon plays David Norris, a congressman aspiring to become the President of the United States. Blunt plays Elise Sellas, a dancer David is attracted to, but can't seem to go out with.

This film was strange and very derivative. It is as though the writers attempted to cull themes from different sources that are not related, in trying to make a film that comes off quite confusing. This is the kind of film that only makes sense to crazy people in Hollywood.

Movie Review: Salt

Title: Salt

Year Of Release: 2010

Review Date: August 31, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Running time: 91 minutes

Box Office Gross: $293,500,000

Site Rating: 0 out of 10 stars

"Salt" is the copyright infringing film starring actress, Angelina Jolie, as a CIA operative named "Evelyn Salt" who is accused of being a Russian spy. When she is wrongfully accused of betraying America, Salt goes on the run, with the entire CIA coming after her.

"Salt" is a violent, sadistic, xenophobic, salacious, convoluted film bearing gratuitous violence, stereotypes and hatred that the original writer never intended. Sony put this film together in such a poor, tacky and corny manner, that so many elements, from the script to costumes/hair, were substandard.